friends :) yeah, they can bring happiness, cheerfulness and even sadness. i think i don't deserve to have friends, it's not like i don't want them, but it's just that they keep running away. i can't have best friends like others, cause i know they'll separate with me eventually. that's why i can't have BEST friends. i don't like goodbyes. i don't like endings. i'm no good with it. i'm scared. i'm scared if i love my friends too much, i'll lose them someday. for me, i think it's better to be alone. i know no one can live without friends supporting them through their days. even i can't. but, the thought of losing someone dear to me, someone who always support me, and realise that someday, they'll leave me, i hate it. betrayal. i got a memory of such friends. i got trap in the past. but, i just can't trust anyone that easily. even the ones i have now, i'm too afraid to believe in them. i just don't know what real friends are like. and because of this, i'm likely to be hated. cause i can't trust them fullheartedly.
