Bitter Sweet

Recently, something happened.

well i know that's only part of life.

no kidding, it's hard to endure that time.

but when i think back, 

i don't really know where i've gone wrong.

or maybe my actions weren't wrong,

it's my poor relationship with God

that made me went through all that.

or maybe that situation was just waiting to happen.

it hurts really really bad.

never had i experienced that kind of feeling.

Imagine having to choose between 

two precious person

in your life.

i didn't want to choose.

i want both of them to be part of my life.

but then again, they see it 

as some sort of competition. 

until now

i'm saddened about the fact i had to choose

between them.

hmmm, but i don't know?

was it all planned by God actually?

i hope i'll find the good in all of this. 

soon.

The Feeling of Regret

the picture says it all.

it describes perfectly what i feel 

right now.

it's because of my own insecurities

that had caused heartache

to that person.

i feel guilty. 

i don't deserve him.

i don't even feel that i need to be loved.

i'm overthinking. i know.

but i can't help it. 

i'm too guilty to even say that

it's okay to make mistakes, i'm just human.

all i can think about is that

i need to be punished.

This One's for You

hmmm, well i think there's 

nothing much to say.

Just

I'M SORRY.

i may be overreacting. well i am.

since you're not talking to me

 for the past 22 hours, more or less.

i can't sleep even though i'm freaking tired. 

i don't have my usual appetite.

i had to smile like nothing ever happened. 

ugh, i know i deserve all this.

i know these are the consequences.

i know clearly it is.

but, i can't stand it anymore.

my chest hurts from frustration of not 

getting any feedback from you.

i keep telling myself that 

you're going to leave.

can't you see i'm falling apart?

i miss you. a lot.

so please talk to me. 

please?

Before Throwback

26 days to SPM.

another 2 months with my friends.

i'll be counting every minute, every second of 

our moments together.

it took me 5 years to settle in,

and it will take just a millisecond for us to be apart.

thanks for always being there.

even though sometimes i don't show it,

you guys have a special place in my heart.

before we are apart,

lets achieve something that

will carve our name as legends.

9A+ in our hands :)